Your Perfect Assignment is Just a Click Away

We Write Custom Academic Papers

100% Original, Plagiarism Free, Customized to your instructions!


Describe How You Would Prepare A Client For Termination

Describe How You Would Prepare A Client For Termination

Describe How You Would Prepare A Client For Termination

Learning the art of heLping Building Blocks and Techniques

S i x t h E d i t i o n

Mark E. Young University of Central Florida

330 Hudson Street, NY, NY 10013

A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 1 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …



Copyright © 2017, 2013, 2009 by Pearson Education, Inc. or its affiliates. All Rights Reserved. Printed in the United States of America. This publication is protected by copyright, and permission should be obtained from the publisher prior to any prohibited reproduction, storage in a retrieval system, or transmission in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise. For information regarding permissions, request forms and the appropriate contacts within the Pearson Education Global Rights & Permissions department, please visit

Acknowledgements of third party content appear on page within text, which constitute an extension of this copyright page.

Unless otherwise indicated herein, any third-party trademarks that may appear in this work are the property of their respective owners and any references to third-party trademarks, logos or other trade dress are for demonstrative or descriptive purposes only. Such references are not intended to imply any sponsorship, endorsement, authorization, or promotion of Pearson’s products by the owners of such marks, or any relationship between the owner and Pearson Education, Inc. or its affiliates, authors, licensees or distributors.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Young, Mark E., author. Title: Learning the art of helping : building blocks and techniques / Mark E. Young, University of Central Florida. Description: Sixth edition. | Boston : Pearson, [2017] | Includes bibliographical references and index. Identifiers: LCCN 2016012245| ISBN 9780134165783 (alk. paper) | ISBN 0134165780 (alk. paper) Subjects: LCSH: Counseling. | Psychotherapy. Classification: LCC BF636.6 .Y68 2017 | DDC 158.3—dc23 LC record available at

Print ISBN 10: 0-13-416578-0

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 ISBN 13: 978-0-13-416578-3

Print with MyEducation Lab with eText: ISBN 10: 0-13-447449-X ISBN 13: 978-0-13-447449-6

Vice President and Publisher: Kevin M. Davis Editorial Assistant: Ann McAlpine Executive Field Marketing Manager: Krista Clark Senior Product Marketing Manager: Christopher Barry Program Manager: Janelle Rogers Project Manager: Pamela D. Bennett Operations Specialist: Deidra Smith Cover Photo: Offset by Shutterstock/ Cavan Images

Media Project Manager: Lauren Carlson Full-Service Project Management: Megha Bhardwaj/Joy Deori, iEnergizer Aptara® LTD Composition: iEnergizer Aptara® LTD Printer/Binder: RR Donnelley/ Harrisonburg North Cover Printer: RR Donnelley/Harrisonburg North Text Font: ITC Garamond Std

A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 2 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …




A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 3 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …




Mark E. Young is Professor at the University of Central Florida. He received his bachelor’s degree from Miami University, his master’s from Wright State University, and his doctorate from Ohio University. He has trained helpers for more than 25 years and worked as a therapist in community mental health, private practice, college counseling centers, and corrections for more than 15 years. Since 2003 he has been affiliated with the Marriage and Family Research Institute teaching relationship skills to low-income couples. His professional writing has focused mainly on therapeutic methods and techniques, wellness, and couples. If you have comments or suggestions on what you have read, please send an e-mail to


A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 4 10/06/16 10:26 PM localadmin /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …




HOW IS THIS BOOK DIFFERENT FROM OTHER BOOKS ABOUT HELPING SKILLS? This book is unique in five ways. First, it is based on lessons learned through years of practice and supervision. I have tried to infuse what I learned from my clients, my stu- dents, and my teachers about the practical aspects of helping. For example, we will talk about what a therapeutic office environment should look like and how to appropriately terminate a client. My work with students has helped me understand the common prob- lems in learning the art of helping and how to overcome them.

Second, the most important innovation of this book is that it involves you person- ally in your learning. Throughout the book you are asked to “Stop and Reflect,” to con- sider thorny issues and challenges that you will face. If you wish, you can journal using Journal Starters or do outside homework to deepen your interaction with the material. In addition, you will have the opportunity to practice on your own by watching videos of helpers and clients and then identify the best helping responses. Every chapter contains Application Exercises in which you can follow the steps of a particular technique and get feedback on your answers.

Third, this book emphasizes that the relationship between helper and client is the most powerful ingredient for success. The relationship (Vitamin R) potentiates all the basic techniques that you will learn. If you and the client are on the same wavelength, progress is possible. When the relationship fails, the helping process falters. In this book, I talk about how to develop a therapeutic relationship and how to repair ruptures that threaten it.

Fourth, I have tried to incorporate the latest research on effective treatments. Stay- ing close to the research can be called “evidence-based practice.” At the same time, we must recognize that there is such a thing as clinical wisdom or “practice-based evidence.” Not every method, technique, or client problem has been researched or even discovered. Thus the helper-in-training needs to learn from his or her clients about what is working for that specific person. I suggest that in every session, the helper should elicit feedback from the client about the relationship and progress toward goals.

Finally, this is a book with an integrative perspective. That means that I have drawn from the techniques of many different theories rather than presenting a purely person-centered or cognitive behavioral approach. At first this may sound like chaos. How can we possibly learn to arrange treatment by blending so many competing theo- ries? In this text, we do not blend theories but instead take a common factors approach to organizing the techniques using the REPLAN method. Common factors are those therapeutic effects that underlie the various theories. REPLAN is an acronym that describes each of the healing factors. R stands for establishing and maintaining a thera- peutic Relationship, E is Enhancing efficacy and self-esteem, P means Practicing new behaviors, L is Lowering and raising emotional arousal, A is Activating expectations, hope, and motivation, and N is providing New learning experiences. Every theory emphasizes one or more of these common factors and even advanced therapeutic techniques tend to fall into one of these categories. We have found that categorizing the techniques in this way provides a rational basis for deciding what kind of help the client


A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 5 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …



vi Preface

needs. Is it important to raise self-esteem or practice new behaviors? This forms the skel- eton of our treatment plan and is guided by the goals that are collaboratively formed between helper and client. This approach can incorporate both time-honored methods and cutting-edge techniques.


• The Sixth Edition of Learning the Art of Helping has additional coverage of cultural issues. Throughout the book are new Culture Check sections that highlight issues of culture in research and in personal experiences as they relate to helping skills.

• In addition, Chapter 12 focuses specifically on learning to help those who are cul- turally different from you.

• For the first time, we have identified helping skills you should develop when you work with children.

• We address the issue of gender differences and how they can challenge the helping relationship.

• The book now includes two new self-assessment tools to help you evaluate recorded sessions or transcripts. They are the Helper Competency Scale, which assesses the basic skills, and the Depth Scale, which looks at the depth of helper responses.

• In addition to the end of chapter activities, such as homework, activities, exercises, self-assessments, and journal starters, we now identify specific points of practice where you can watch a video of the skill you are learning or complete written exer- cises and receive feedback on your answers. You can now access these ancillary materials at the same time you are reading about them.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS In my own journey, there have been many who have taught and inspired me to be a better person and a better helper. I must acknowledge my teachers Rajinder Singh, J. Melvin Wit- mer, Harry Dewire, and James Pinnell, my first supervisor, who took me as a raw recruit in a mental health clinic, sacrificing his time and talent to teach me as an apprentice. We shared a zeal and passion for the profession, and his wisdom infuses every chapter of this book. I must also mention those who have encouraged me in my writing, Sam Gladding, Gerald Corey, Jeffrey Kottler, Adam Blatner, James Framo, John Norcross, and Jerome Frank. I appreciate the feedback from my colleagues at Ohio State University, Darcy and Paul Granello, and Daniel Gutierrez at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. Tracy Hutchinson deserves special mention for reading every chapter and giving feedback at every step. I also recognize the helpful comments of those who reviewed various drafts of the manuscript including Hannah Acquaye and Shainna Ali. In addition, the following reviewers supplied insightful feedback for updating this edition: Valerie G. Balog, University of North Carolina at Charlotte; Daniel Bishop, Concordia University Chicago; Natalie Arce Indelicato, University of North Florida; Kristin Perrone McGovern, Ball State University; David A. Scott, Clemson University; and Heather Trepal, University of Texas at San Antonio.

I would like to thank my editor, Kevin Davis, who has believed in this book since its first edition. Finally, I recognize the contribution of my wife, Jora, who remains my most demanding critic and my staunchest supporter.

A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 6 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …




Chapter 1 Helping as a Personal Journey 1

Chapter 2 The Therapeutic Relationship 31

Chapter 3 Invitational Skills 60

Chapter 4 Reflecting Skills: Paraphrasing 85

Chapter 5 Reflecting Skills: Reflecting Feelings 101

Chapter 6 Advanced Reflecting Skills: Reflecting Meaning and Summarizing 121

Chapter 7 Challenging Skills 147

Chapter 8 Assessment and Goal Setting 175

Chapter 9 Change Techniques, Part I 208

Chapter 10 Change Techniques, Part II 243

Chapter 11 Evaluation, Reflection, and Termination 276

Chapter 12 Skills for Helping Someone Who Is Different 297

Glossary 315 References 323 Index 349


A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 7 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …




Chapter 1 HELPING AS A PERSONAL JOURNEY 1 The Demands of the Journey 1 Becoming a Reflective Practitioner 2

Using Reflection to Help You Overcome Challenging Helping Situations and Enhance Your Learning 3 Using Reflection to Help Clients with Backgrounds Different from Your Own 3 Using Reflection to Accommodate New Information about Yourself 4 Learning to Reflect through Exercises in This Book 6

What is Helping? 6 Psychological Helping 8 Interviewing 8 What Are Counseling and Psychotherapy? 10 Coaching 11

Challenges You Will Face in Learning the Art of Helping 11 The Challenge of Development 12 Taking Responsibility for Your Own Learning 12 Finding a Mentor 14 Finding the Perfect Technique 14 In Limbo 14 Accepting Feedback and Being Perfect 15 Following Ethical Guidelines 15 Individual Differences 17

Who Can Be an Effective Helper? 17 What Can You Bring to a Client? 19

The Nuts and Bolts of Helping 21 Learning Basic Skills and Common Therapeutic Factors 21 Therapeutic Building Blocks 22 Change Techniques 24 The Importance of the Building Blocks 24

The Stages of the Helping Process: A Road Map 24 Summary 26 Exercises 27

Group Exercises 27 Group Discussions 28


A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 8 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …



Contents ix

Written Exercises 28 Self-Assessment 29 Homework 29 Journal Starters 30

Chapter 2 THE THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP 31 The Importance of the Therapeutic Relationship in Creating Change 33

What Is a Helping Relationship? Is a Professional Helping Relationship the Same as a Friendship? 34 The Unique Characteristics of a Therapeutic Relationship 36 What Clients Want in a Helping Relationship 38

How Can a Helper Create a Therapeutic Relationship? 38 Relationship Enhancers 39

Other Factors That Help or Strain the Therapeutic Relationship 45 Facilitative Office Environment 45 Distractions 46 Appearing Credible and Taking a Nonhierarchical Stance 46 Therapeutic Faux Pas 47 Transference and Countertransference 50

Summary 56 Exercises 57

Group Exercises 57 Small Group Discussions 57 Homework 58 Journal Starters 59

Chapter 3 INVITATIONAL SKILLS 60 Listening to the Client’s Story 61 Nonverbal Communication between Helper and Client 64

Regulation 64 Intimacy 65 Persuasion 65

Nonverbal Skills in the Helping Relationship 65 Eye Contact 66 Body Position 66 Attentive Silence 67 Voice Tone 67

A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 9 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …



x Contents

Facial Expressions and Gestures 68 Physical Distance 68 Touching and Warmth 69

Opening Skills: How to Invite 71 Saying Hello: How to Start the First Session 72 How to Start the Next Session 72 Encouragers 73 Questions 74

Summary 79 Exercises 80

Group Exercises 80 Small Group Discussions 82 Written Exercises 83 Self-Assessment 84 Homework 84 Journal Starters 84

Chapter 4 REFLECTING SKILLS: PARAPHRASING 85 Reasons for Reflecting 86 Reflecting Content and Thoughts, Reflecting Feelings, and Reflecting Meaning 86 The Skill of Paraphrasing: Reflecting Content and Thoughts 89

How to Paraphrase 89 Paraphrasing: What It Is and What It Isn’t 90 When to Paraphrase and the Nonjudgmental Listening Cycle 91

Common Problems in Paraphrasing 94 Simply Reciting the Facts 94 Difficulty Listening to the Story because of “Noise” 94 Worrying about What to Say Next 95 Being Judgmental and Taking the Client’s Side 95 Being Judgmental of the Client 96 Turning a Paraphrase into a Question 96

Summary 97 Exercises 97

Group Exercises 97 Small Group Discussions 98 Written Exercises 99

A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 10 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …



Contents xi

Self-Assessment 99 Homework 99 Journal Starters 100

Chapter 5 REFLECTING SKILLS: REFLECTING FEELINGS 101 The Importance of Understanding Emotions 101 The Skill of Reflecting Feelings 102

The Benefits of Reflecting Feelings 102 Why It Is Difficult to Reflect Feelings 103

How to Reflect Feelings 104 Step 1: Identifying the Feeling or Feelings 104 Step 2: Putting the Emotion into Words 104

Common Problems in Reflecting Feelings and Their Antidotes 110

Asking the Client, “How Did You Feel?” or “How Did That Make You Feel?” 112 Waiting Too Long to Reflect 112 Making Your Reflection a Question 112 Combining a Reflection and a Question: The Error of the Compound Response 113 Focusing on Other People 113 Interrupting Too Soon and Letting the Client Talk Too Long 114 Confusing the Words Feel and Think 115 Missing the Mark: Overshooting and Undershooting 115 Letting Your Reflecting Statements Go On Too Long 116

Summary 117 Exercises 117

Group Exercises 117 Written Exercises 119 Self-Assessment 120 Homework 120 Journal Starters 120


Why Reflect Meaning? 124 Challenging the Client to Go Deeper: The Inner Circle

A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 11 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …



xii Contents

Strategy 126 Worldview: Meanings Are Personal 129

How to Uncover Meaning in the Story 130 Reflecting Meaning 130 Using Open Questions to Uncover Meaning 133

Summarizing 134 Focusing Summaries 135 Signal Summaries 135 Thematic Summaries 136 Planning Summaries 136

The Nonjudgmental Listening Cycle Ends with Summarizing 137

What Happens after the Nonjudgmental Listening Cycle? 138 A Questioning Cycle Typically Found Early in Training 138

Summary 140 Exercises 141

Group Exercises 141 Small Group Discussions 142 Written Exercises 143 Self-Assessment 145 Homework 145 Journal Starters 146

Chapter 7 CHALLENGING SKILLS 147 When Should We Use the Challenging Skills? 149 Giving Feedback 150

Why Is Feedback Important? 150 How to Give Feedback 151

Confrontation 154 What Is a Discrepancy? 154 Why Should Discrepancies Be Confronted? 154 Cognitive Dissonance and Confrontation: Why Confrontation Works 155 Types of Discrepancies and Some Examples 156 How to Confront 158 Steps to Confrontation 159 Common Problems in Confrontation and Their Antidotes 161 Final Cautions about Confrontation 162

A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 12 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …



Contents xiii

Other Ways of Challenging 163 Relationship Immediacy 163 Teaching the Client Self-Confrontation 164 Challenging Irrational Beliefs 165 Humor as Challenge 166

Summary 167 Exercises 168

Group Exercises 168 Small Group Discussions 169 Written Exercises 170 Self-Assessment 170 Homework 174 Journal Starters 174

Chapter 8 ASSESSMENT AND GOAL SETTING 175 Why Assessment? 176

Assessment Is a Critical Part of Helping 177 Reasons to Spend Time in the Assessment Stage 178

Two Informal Methods of Assessment That Every Helper Uses: Observation and Questioning 181

Observation 181 Questioning 183

Conducting an Intake Interview: What to Assess? 184 A. Affective Assessment 184 B. Behavioral Assessment 184 C. Cognitive Assessment 184 1. Developmental Issues 185 2. Family History 186 3. Cultural and Religious/Spiritual Background 186 4. Physical Challenges and Strengths 186

Categorizing Clients and Their Problems 188 Organizing the Flood of Information: Making a Diagnosis 188

Goal-Setting Skills 188 Where Do I Go from Here? Set Goals! 188 Why Must We Set Goals? 190 When to Set Goals 191

What Are the Characteristics of Constructive Goals? 192 Goals Should Be Simple and Specific 192

A01_YOUN5783_06_SE_FM.indd Page 13 10/06/16 5:00 PM f403 /205/PH02516/9780134165783_YOUNG/YOUNG_LEARNING_THE_ART_OF_HELPING6_SE_9780134165 …

Order Solution Now

Our Service Charter

1. Professional & Expert Writers: On Time Writers only hire the best. Our writers are specially selected and recruited, after which they undergo further training to perfect their skills for specialization purposes. Moreover, our writers are holders of masters and Ph.D. degrees. They have impressive academic records, besides being native English speakers.

2. Top Quality Papers: Our customers are always guaranteed papers that exceed their expectations. All our writers have +5 years of experience. This implies that all papers are written by individuals who are experts in their fields. In addition, the quality team reviews all the papers before sending them to the customers.

3. Plagiarism-Free Papers: All papers provided by On Time Writers are written from scratch. Appropriate referencing and citation of key information are followed. Plagiarism checkers are used by the Quality assurance team and our editors just to double-check that there are no instances of plagiarism.

4. Timely Delivery: Time wasted is equivalent to a failed dedication and commitment. On Time Writers is known for timely delivery of any pending customer orders. Customers are well informed of the progress of their papers to ensure they keep track of what the writer is providing before the final draft is sent for grading.

5. Affordable Prices: Our prices are fairly structured to fit all groups. Any customer willing to place their assignments with us can do so at very affordable prices. In addition, our customers enjoy regular discounts and bonuses.

6. 24/7 Customer Support: At On Time Writers, we have put in place a team of experts who answer all customer inquiries promptly. The best part is the ever-availability of the team. Customers can make inquiries anytime.